Oh I don't love you, but I always will

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I found this camera on the subway and look what was inside… 

thatsnotwatyourmomsaid:

• Socialism: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbour.
• Communism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
• Fascism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
• Nazism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.
• Bureaucratism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..
• Traditional Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
• An American Corporation: You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow dropped dead.
• A French Corporation: You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
• Japanese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.
• An Italian Corporation: You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
• A Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
• Chinese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
• An Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.......
• Counter Culture: 'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'
• Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
• Fatalist: You have 2 doomed cows...
• A West-Country Corporation: You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
• A Brazilian Corporation: You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.
• Moffat: You have two cows. Both of them are your daughters time travelling from the past where they had a brief love affair with Da Vinci making you the rightful Queen of England.
• An Irish Corporation: You have a million cows because they're fucking everywhere
• Tumblr: You have 2 cows. You ship them together and make GIF posts screaming about how much you love your cows, but they should stop existing because they are so perfect.

Will Smith created everything 

the-absolute-funniest-posts:

The Cat Daddy:

The Shuffle:

The Single Ladies Dance:

The Stanky Leg:

The Cyclone:

The Dougie:

omg.

By far the greatest post to ever surface on Tumblr.

FOLLOW this blog, get free ham =D

(Source: jadeham13)

alneezy:

OH YES.

(Source: itsry4n)

Darth Vader Goes To Disneyland (aka the best ad ever)

Are you my mummy?
No, I am your father.

(Source: hobanwashburnes)

eastcollins:

Let me introduce you to the most awkward family picture ever

• Dean is sat as far away from everyone as possible because he fucking hates the world and the Campbells
• Sam is soulless so gives zero fucks
• Sampa Soup is the most awk in the middle with his sassy stance because he is literally the only thing the two groups have in common and dammit everyone is going to get along and have a nice family photo so help him Lord
• And then there’s the three on the right who are invalids
• Pretty sure one of them lasted all of two episodes
• The other guy was a dick
• And Gwen was a woman so we all knew she was going to die anyway

(Source: johnlockcreys)

Well its a shame I can't read this comic cause it's in korean but i guess i can keep scrolling dowOHMYGOD 

(Source: sammneiland)

Tumblr 

quicksummary:

A website where people think your blog is supposed to cater to their interests and sense of humor, otherwise they send you angry messages about the fact that you aren’t catering to their specific interests and sense of humor. Also cats.